“So that's what death tastes like.”
Terminator: Salvation (2009)
I think we can all agree that the original two Terminator films are pretty damn cool. Not the best movies ever created mind you, but fun and original while always breaking borders with their special effects. I’m of the personal opinion that Terminator 2: Judgement Day is the best of the originals. Robert Patrick as the T-1000 is brilliant and even Arnold acts his butt off.
Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines tried too hard in my opinion. The female Terminator wasn’t really that scary and the acting was below par. There was the occasional great set piece (Arnold hanging from a fire trucks ladder as he smashes through buildings) but on the whole there wasn’t enough to interest me.
This brings us to the present, where I was highly anticipating the return of the series. I mean Christian Bale as John Connor fighting Terminators. How can that be bad?
It can. It was. I mean really, really, almost as bad as Terminator 3 bad. I knew within the first 10 minutes this was not for me. It starts off with a pretty pointless scene that completely and utterly spoils the only twist in the film, that being that *SPOILERS* (If you’re an idiot) Marcus Wright is a Terminator. This was also revealed in the trailer, so if you were scratching your head as you watched than that makes you a double idiot (also known as retarded I believe).
After that initial scene plays out the rest of the movie is basically a lot of loud bangs and bright explosions. I mean literally. McG was so the wrong Director for this movie. Best known for his work on the Charlie’s Angels franchise he really struggles here to produce any emotion at all from any of the cast.
Christian Bale mails it in with his grumpiest performance ever. No wonder he lost it with whoever on set, this version of John Connor is probably the moodiest character I’ve seen all year. I also have to say that even though I hate this comparison, he still sounds like he’s in the Batman outfit running around Gotham.
Sam Worthington (as Marcus Wright) was pretty good in my opinion. CGM thought he was plain but I would still say that out of everyone he and Moon Bloodgood were the only two who put in any effort. I also hear that he’s tipped for big things with roles in Avatar and Clash of the Titans coming up. If I’m being nice Anton Yelchin also gives a decent performance.
I’m having trouble remembering any of the action sequences. The giant terminator was cool, as were the bike ones, but the CGI Arnold that showed up at the end was so bad it was cringe worthy. If you can’t get the real dude, don’t CGI him into the movie for fun. It looked shit, was fairly pointless and really took me out the movie so that I could look around with my WTF face on. Too many loud noises with no real point or any real expanding of the Terminator mythology means that this is less about redeeming the franchise with a brilliant movie and more about making money on something that isn’t a remake/re-quel/reboot/a billion other re- words.
I guess I should mention that I know a load of both casual and hardcore film fans who loved it. I’m probably being too harsh when I blame it all on McG. In all honesty though, they did this. They are the people who market and sell the film to the audience. They hyped it up and then didn’t deliver. I guess I’m glad I didn’t have to pay to see it.
To conclude I think it’s safe to say that this is not the movie I was promised. It is a bit of fun but not enough for me to recommend it. Pretty poor effort overall. The worst thing is probably that because Dragonball Evolution and Wolverine were rubbish the general public is likely to overrate this movie as a result.
Miller’s Crossing (1990)
I’m pretty sure somewhere on this blog I’ve mentioned Rian Johnsons awesome Brick (2005). When I originally saw that film about a year after its release I marvelled over how original it was.
For those who don’t know Brick (according to IMDB) follows the story of “a teenage loner as he pushes his way into the underworld of a high school crime ring to investigate the disappearance of his ex-girlfriend.”
It is very stylish and cool with some magnificent acting placed as the cherry on top. It isn’t however, as original as I had previously thought. You see the other day I broke out a HMV 4-for-£20 deal and picked up Miller’s Crossing which I had long been told was one of the Coen Brothers best films.
It’s actually pretty surprising the amount of things in Brick that I could clearly see had been ripped directly from Miller’s Crossing. I guess I can understand the homage taking place (as with the references to other detective and noir films in the movie) but I did some research and can’t find a comparison between the two films anywhere. Surely I’m not the only one who has seen both movies and now rates Brick slightly less in the originality department?
Alas, I digress. Brick is still one of my films to watch, but Miller’s Crossing figuratively blew my mind. Again we go to IMDB for a plot synopsis;
“Tom Regan, an advisor to a Prohibition-era crime boss, tries to keep the peace between warring mobs but gets caught in divided loyalties.”
It’s a true homage to a past era, full of deceit and double crossing. This film is a brilliant look at loyalty and character, and man there are some brilliant characters in this movie! I’ll rave about Gabriel Byrne as Tom in a moment but first I need to mention John Turturro. I think this is my favourite role of his. He’s just brilliant as Bernie Bernbaum, a shady character who likes to play people off each other while he hides in the shadows, the man who kicks off the narrative. He’s just so good, not letting off for a second. It’s probably worth watching the film just for him.
To do that though, would be to miss out on a host of great performances. Jon Polito and Albert Finney are both menacing and humorous (something I find the Coen bro’s seem to achieve on a regular basis) as Johnny Caspar and Leo. Steve Buscemi is hilarious for the 5 minutes (or so) of screen time he gets.
J.E Freeman is also excellent as The Dane, who’s an odd character. He doesn’t have any physical defects or anything like that, but as a bad guy you really feel that he could come out on top, and that historically isn’t how you’re meant to feel about the baddie. I enjoyed the movie that little bit more when he’s on screen tormenting our hero Tom Regan.
Speaking of whom, Gabriel Byrne really and truly shines in this role. He’s in pretty much every scene and links together all of the characters and what’s happening where. His Irish accent perfectly fits his quiet stern demeanour. If you thought Joseph Gordon-Levitt was brilliant as the wise cracking Brendan in Brick then you really will love Tom Regan. He’s interesting in the sense that everyone seems to know and trust him, but he knows everyone and trusts no one. He shows mercy and compassion in giving numerous chances to the supporting characters to change their lives but he is also willing to be ruthless when necessary. Make no mistake. Tom plays some of the best mind games while using the fewest words in cinemas history.
Considering this is the Coen Brothers third film, I’m very impressed. It’s incredibly well paced and with some great direction. Having seen both No Country for Old Men, O’ Brother, Where Art Thou? and Fargo I can’t say this is their best film from a cinematography angle. These guys continue to be two of the best film makers out there, and I’m glad they are still going strong (I know this is an old movie). I thoroughly enjoyed this one, and I think anyone with an appreciation of gangsters and wise guys and machine guns and dames etc will love it as well.
It also gets extra credit for an awesome Sam Raimi cameo as a trigger happy gangster. Brilliant.
And for something a little easier to digest...
Sometimes I start writing and don’t realise I’m hitting the thousands in the word count till after I’ve finished. Sometimes I notice and keep on going. I’m feeling nice this week, and realising that we’re all in official holiday mode I know you don’t want to read more essays. Instead I offer a twitter-esque alternative on some of the things I’ve seen lately.
Cursed (2005) – A lot of decent actors/actresses but ultimately a boring attempt at a genre film with barely a scare in it, strange considering it’s a Wes Craven film.
21 (2008) – Fun and sexy “fact based” thriller about counting cards and living the high life. Pretty cool movie, if fairly obvious in its narrative construction.
Coraline (2009) – Surprisingly dark, which makes this surprisingly good.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) – Surprisingly boring, which makes this surprisingly bland. Ryan Reynolds IS Deadpool, I don’t care what you say, but this Deadpool is not the one we know and love. Second worst blockbuster this summer.
Mean Machine (2001) – One of the few films I can honestly say I have rated Vinnie Jones in. Jason Statham even plays someone other than Jason Statham!?!?! Danny Dyer is still a cock though.
The Foot Fist Way (2006) – I’ve already given this a full on review in one of my first few posts at the beginning of the year but I figured I’d mention it again seeing as I saw it last week. Hilarious, watch it.
Lethal Weapon (1987) – This movie and the franchise its spawned is undeniably cool but I couldn’t help but wonder the whole way through if Mel Gibson went crazy before or after this movie.
And so there you have it. An entry that’s less than 2000 words. Hurrah! Well until next time we can be bothered or we get any big news all I’ve left to say is adios.
CGJ
Terminator: Salvation (2009)
I think we can all agree that the original two Terminator films are pretty damn cool. Not the best movies ever created mind you, but fun and original while always breaking borders with their special effects. I’m of the personal opinion that Terminator 2: Judgement Day is the best of the originals. Robert Patrick as the T-1000 is brilliant and even Arnold acts his butt off.
Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines tried too hard in my opinion. The female Terminator wasn’t really that scary and the acting was below par. There was the occasional great set piece (Arnold hanging from a fire trucks ladder as he smashes through buildings) but on the whole there wasn’t enough to interest me.
This brings us to the present, where I was highly anticipating the return of the series. I mean Christian Bale as John Connor fighting Terminators. How can that be bad?
It can. It was. I mean really, really, almost as bad as Terminator 3 bad. I knew within the first 10 minutes this was not for me. It starts off with a pretty pointless scene that completely and utterly spoils the only twist in the film, that being that *SPOILERS* (If you’re an idiot) Marcus Wright is a Terminator. This was also revealed in the trailer, so if you were scratching your head as you watched than that makes you a double idiot (also known as retarded I believe).
After that initial scene plays out the rest of the movie is basically a lot of loud bangs and bright explosions. I mean literally. McG was so the wrong Director for this movie. Best known for his work on the Charlie’s Angels franchise he really struggles here to produce any emotion at all from any of the cast.
Christian Bale mails it in with his grumpiest performance ever. No wonder he lost it with whoever on set, this version of John Connor is probably the moodiest character I’ve seen all year. I also have to say that even though I hate this comparison, he still sounds like he’s in the Batman outfit running around Gotham.
Sam Worthington (as Marcus Wright) was pretty good in my opinion. CGM thought he was plain but I would still say that out of everyone he and Moon Bloodgood were the only two who put in any effort. I also hear that he’s tipped for big things with roles in Avatar and Clash of the Titans coming up. If I’m being nice Anton Yelchin also gives a decent performance.
I’m having trouble remembering any of the action sequences. The giant terminator was cool, as were the bike ones, but the CGI Arnold that showed up at the end was so bad it was cringe worthy. If you can’t get the real dude, don’t CGI him into the movie for fun. It looked shit, was fairly pointless and really took me out the movie so that I could look around with my WTF face on. Too many loud noises with no real point or any real expanding of the Terminator mythology means that this is less about redeeming the franchise with a brilliant movie and more about making money on something that isn’t a remake/re-quel/reboot/a billion other re- words.
I guess I should mention that I know a load of both casual and hardcore film fans who loved it. I’m probably being too harsh when I blame it all on McG. In all honesty though, they did this. They are the people who market and sell the film to the audience. They hyped it up and then didn’t deliver. I guess I’m glad I didn’t have to pay to see it.
To conclude I think it’s safe to say that this is not the movie I was promised. It is a bit of fun but not enough for me to recommend it. Pretty poor effort overall. The worst thing is probably that because Dragonball Evolution and Wolverine were rubbish the general public is likely to overrate this movie as a result.
Miller’s Crossing (1990)
I’m pretty sure somewhere on this blog I’ve mentioned Rian Johnsons awesome Brick (2005). When I originally saw that film about a year after its release I marvelled over how original it was.
For those who don’t know Brick (according to IMDB) follows the story of “a teenage loner as he pushes his way into the underworld of a high school crime ring to investigate the disappearance of his ex-girlfriend.”
It is very stylish and cool with some magnificent acting placed as the cherry on top. It isn’t however, as original as I had previously thought. You see the other day I broke out a HMV 4-for-£20 deal and picked up Miller’s Crossing which I had long been told was one of the Coen Brothers best films.
It’s actually pretty surprising the amount of things in Brick that I could clearly see had been ripped directly from Miller’s Crossing. I guess I can understand the homage taking place (as with the references to other detective and noir films in the movie) but I did some research and can’t find a comparison between the two films anywhere. Surely I’m not the only one who has seen both movies and now rates Brick slightly less in the originality department?
Alas, I digress. Brick is still one of my films to watch, but Miller’s Crossing figuratively blew my mind. Again we go to IMDB for a plot synopsis;
“Tom Regan, an advisor to a Prohibition-era crime boss, tries to keep the peace between warring mobs but gets caught in divided loyalties.”
It’s a true homage to a past era, full of deceit and double crossing. This film is a brilliant look at loyalty and character, and man there are some brilliant characters in this movie! I’ll rave about Gabriel Byrne as Tom in a moment but first I need to mention John Turturro. I think this is my favourite role of his. He’s just brilliant as Bernie Bernbaum, a shady character who likes to play people off each other while he hides in the shadows, the man who kicks off the narrative. He’s just so good, not letting off for a second. It’s probably worth watching the film just for him.
To do that though, would be to miss out on a host of great performances. Jon Polito and Albert Finney are both menacing and humorous (something I find the Coen bro’s seem to achieve on a regular basis) as Johnny Caspar and Leo. Steve Buscemi is hilarious for the 5 minutes (or so) of screen time he gets.
J.E Freeman is also excellent as The Dane, who’s an odd character. He doesn’t have any physical defects or anything like that, but as a bad guy you really feel that he could come out on top, and that historically isn’t how you’re meant to feel about the baddie. I enjoyed the movie that little bit more when he’s on screen tormenting our hero Tom Regan.
Speaking of whom, Gabriel Byrne really and truly shines in this role. He’s in pretty much every scene and links together all of the characters and what’s happening where. His Irish accent perfectly fits his quiet stern demeanour. If you thought Joseph Gordon-Levitt was brilliant as the wise cracking Brendan in Brick then you really will love Tom Regan. He’s interesting in the sense that everyone seems to know and trust him, but he knows everyone and trusts no one. He shows mercy and compassion in giving numerous chances to the supporting characters to change their lives but he is also willing to be ruthless when necessary. Make no mistake. Tom plays some of the best mind games while using the fewest words in cinemas history.
Considering this is the Coen Brothers third film, I’m very impressed. It’s incredibly well paced and with some great direction. Having seen both No Country for Old Men, O’ Brother, Where Art Thou? and Fargo I can’t say this is their best film from a cinematography angle. These guys continue to be two of the best film makers out there, and I’m glad they are still going strong (I know this is an old movie). I thoroughly enjoyed this one, and I think anyone with an appreciation of gangsters and wise guys and machine guns and dames etc will love it as well.
It also gets extra credit for an awesome Sam Raimi cameo as a trigger happy gangster. Brilliant.
And for something a little easier to digest...
Sometimes I start writing and don’t realise I’m hitting the thousands in the word count till after I’ve finished. Sometimes I notice and keep on going. I’m feeling nice this week, and realising that we’re all in official holiday mode I know you don’t want to read more essays. Instead I offer a twitter-esque alternative on some of the things I’ve seen lately.
Cursed (2005) – A lot of decent actors/actresses but ultimately a boring attempt at a genre film with barely a scare in it, strange considering it’s a Wes Craven film.
21 (2008) – Fun and sexy “fact based” thriller about counting cards and living the high life. Pretty cool movie, if fairly obvious in its narrative construction.
Coraline (2009) – Surprisingly dark, which makes this surprisingly good.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) – Surprisingly boring, which makes this surprisingly bland. Ryan Reynolds IS Deadpool, I don’t care what you say, but this Deadpool is not the one we know and love. Second worst blockbuster this summer.
Mean Machine (2001) – One of the few films I can honestly say I have rated Vinnie Jones in. Jason Statham even plays someone other than Jason Statham!?!?! Danny Dyer is still a cock though.
The Foot Fist Way (2006) – I’ve already given this a full on review in one of my first few posts at the beginning of the year but I figured I’d mention it again seeing as I saw it last week. Hilarious, watch it.
Lethal Weapon (1987) – This movie and the franchise its spawned is undeniably cool but I couldn’t help but wonder the whole way through if Mel Gibson went crazy before or after this movie.
And so there you have it. An entry that’s less than 2000 words. Hurrah! Well until next time we can be bothered or we get any big news all I’ve left to say is adios.
CGJ
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