Monday 9 June 2008

To start this blog off, I have decided to write a list
of 5 bands that offer no merit to culture, music, society
or to anything or anyone, in general. While thinking up
this list I am taking into account how highly regarded
they are within music circles, and also how success full
they are. It would be easy to list 5 bands that have
had no impact on music at all, and are obviously shit,
like Steps or Chico. I have also taken into account the
amount of hatred they well in me and my peers.

5. The Hoosiers - Pure absolute ripoff shit. Now I
Know that modern music, and even music throughout
the ages has been a product of it's influences,
but there is fucking line to be drawn. Decades ago
a group called ELO were very popular indeed. In fact
my Dad is a very big fan of them. Although they are
not a part of my music collection, I understand and
acknowledge that they a good, well written pop group,
and although they were not 100% original they have a
very distinctive piano driven sound, which The Hoosiers
have COMPLETELY ripped off.

Now listen to Mr. Blue Sky by ELO and tell me that
Mr. A by The Hoosiers isn't exactly the same.



Especially at 0:50 seconds in.
Luckily for us, it seems as if recently they have faded
out of the minds and wallets of the general public
so hopefully we won't be seeing much more of them.
Wankers.


4. Nickelback - Cliched lyrics, unimaginative writing,
and what makes it even worse, is that they are
COMPLETELY unaware of how vacuous they are. Their
festering shit sandwich called "Rockstar" is such a
good example of this fact, that it inspired me to include
them in this list. They truly believe that they aren't
corporate brown-nosing dick holes. Their pure arrogance
is rivalled by few others. Am I have video evidence of
this. Marvel at the delights of Nickelback being bottled
off stage:



absolutely fantastic.

They also have the fucking cheek to cover Metallica live.
Now I am not the worlds biggest Metallica fan, but Metallica
are instrumental to the progression of heavy music, and rock.
Nickelback are not. Fuck off Nickelback, you suck major arse.

3. Crystal Castles - CC are probably still unknown to alot
of people reading this. They have only recently stared to
become a little more known, because of their "pioneering"
use of 8-bit sounds (from gameboys and the such) and
because of their obtuse and esoteric nature.

For starters, they are not esoteric, just extremely arrogant.
And their "pioneering" use of 8-bit sounds is be no means
new or pioneering. People have been using 8-bit sounds
for a long time, in fact there is a whole online community
of people who have been making 8-bit music for many years
at sites like www.8bitpeoples.com and 8bc.org. This
community in itself holds one of the reasons why I hate
Crystal Castles sooooo much.

Most of the music created by the members of the 8-bit
community realise their music under the creative commons
license, meaning that the music can be distributed
and used freely as long as no financial gain is involved.
I am a big fan of this type of license, as it allows for
fans of music to discover new music at low or no cost
without the fear of repercussions.

Crystal Castles have fucked the 8-bit community, by
exploiting the license, knowing that the creators will
most likely not follow it up. They have purely ripped off
songs directly from the 8-bit community. To read more about
this you can look it up on this site:

(Timbaland is also good at ripping off this community)

However, not only have they gained success and recognition
through royal - ie fucking the 8-bit community, they have raped
the artist Trevor Brown, who drew this frankly awesome image

























which CC stole and used through out their merchandise and
album artwork. They will not pay Brown for the piece, and
claim that he is lying about the whole situation. More
can be read about it at Trevor Brown's blog:

And what makes it even worse, is that their arrogance doesn't
cease. Even though their music is not original, or especially
interesting. Crystal Castles should not be supported, encouraged
or recommended to anyone. They are TWATS.

2. Coldplay - Coldplay are one of those bands that far too
many people like, and buy their records. They are drab,
unimaginative, and whining. Constant whining. YOUR LIFE
IS NOT HARD, STOP WHINING! Chris "the retard" Martin has
such a nasally voice, its nauseating, the drummer fucking
sucks, and the rest of the band are no better. Their
song writing is so unimaginative, that they have to start
taking melodies and styles from other bands:



Kraftwerk are awesome, and are incredible influential and
are originators and pioneers within electronic music.
Coldplay just whine, and whine and whine and whine and whine.
Chris Martin is so pathetic he literally begged Kraftwerk
for the hook:

If you don't hate them yet, then consider this. Chris Martins
kid is called Apple. Not only is he pathetic, he's a sadist
too, by naming his kid one of the worst names they could think
of. Why not just call your kid "bully me!" or "retard".
Plus, they are in cahoots with Bob fucking Geldork, and one
of the worst human beings on earth:

1. U2 or specifically, Bono. - The pure arrogance of this man
is completely unrivalled. Not only has he pushed horrible
cliched badly written music upon the world, he has gained world
recognition, fame and success by exploiting the need for funding
and help in third world and impoverished countries. And to
little help to the people in need. But sadly this goes relatively
unpublished, because he is help as such a saint. Here is a quote
from wikipedia:

"This work has not been without criticism. On 15 December 2005
Paul Theroux published an op-ed in the New York Times called
The Rock Star's Burden (cf. Kipling's The White Man's Burden)
criticizing such stars as Bono, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie as
"mythomaniacs, people who wish to convince the world of their worth."
Theroux, who lived in Africa as a Peace Corps Volunteer, added that
"the impression that Africa is fatally troubled and can be saved only
by outside help — not to mention celebrities and charity concerts
— is a destructive and misleading conceit."

....

Further criticism came in November 2007, when Bono's various charity
campaigns were targeted by Jobs Selasie, head of African Aid Action.
Selasie claimed that these charities had increased corruption and
dependency in Africa because they failed to work with African
entrepreneurs and grassroots organizations, and as a result, Africa
has become more dependent on international handouts."

And Bono wares sunglasses inside, and their guitarist is called "The Edge"
not "Edge", "THE Edge". Arrogant cunts.
So far, I have focused on the flawed personalities, but to be fooled,
their music is horrific too. The Edge does not play guitar, he plays
the echo and delay pedal. ANYONE could play guitar like that, it
takes NO talent at all. The drummer, who by most accounts probably
doesn't exist, as no one could name him, is substandard shit, at best.
And LYRICALLY, Bono repeats phrases like "YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH"
over and over, and he actually wrote "Unos, dos, tres, catorce"
WHAT THE FUCK! If you are going to use other languages in your songs
at least get the TRANS - FUCKING - LATIONS right. FOR FUCKS SAKE, and
what makes it worse, is that people still bought it! The album is called
"How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" its going to be terrible. Thats just
common sense (but, to be honest, Common Sense is an oxymoron itself).

And just to top off this Bono believes they are the best band on earth:

"[We're] reapplying for the job. What job? The best band in the world job"

Twat.


At The Moment, I am Listening To -
Does It Offend You Yeah - You Dont Know What Your Getting Yourself Into
Cutting Pink With Knives - Populuxxe
Nine Inch Nails - The Slip
Fantomas - Director's Cut

If you liked this please digg it

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with all of these. I well wanted a Crystal Castles top though cause it was 80's Madonna I was even gonna buy one last year but i was skint. xx

Oh also - The Feeling.

M and J said...

The feeling were on the original list, but I had to make way for others. Scouting girls were also on this list originally.

Unknown said...

Well said about The Hoosiers. I literally don't know how they are getting away with it

Anonymous said...

so much hate, so little time. brilliant.